Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
