How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
