i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
