People in love make me want to vomit
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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