All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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