I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
