The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
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