My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
