I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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