Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
