You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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