do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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