When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I will be naked everywhere
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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