Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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