where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
