Tell her she can't have a vagina
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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