Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
