we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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