If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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