Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
