butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
