Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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