This girl is more easily done than said...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
