Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
