Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if only i could text you this smell
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
