Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
look no pants
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
