I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
