Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
