I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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