rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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