I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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