walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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