No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
