If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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