maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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