I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
