I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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