We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
