i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
