his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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