You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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