he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
