It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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