the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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