it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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