I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
