I'm lost and stupid without you.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The Olympian is in my bed
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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