I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
