Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Someone signed my nipple.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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