I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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