he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
