come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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