Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
