why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
